The 39th Song

[tangledintower]

[PRIVATE TO FLYNN RIDER//WOEFULLY, WOEFULLY HACKABLE]

Eugene...? We need to talk...

...Oh, I don't know how to say this...

Eugene, we can't be friends anymore! I'm sorry!

Oh, it's not that I don't want to not be your friend. I like you, I like you a whole lot! But...well...

...That curse, the truth or dare one, when you were running around, er...without clothes? It made me realize something. You're a man, and no matter how good friends we may be, your sinful nature will inevitably kick in at some point, and you'll be forced to force yourself upon me and rip me apart from the inside out.

So, I'm sorry. We can't be friends anymore.

[ooc: This is extremely hackable, to the pint where basically anybody can read it. And yes, Flynn is going to have to find a way to give Rapunzel a non traumatizing version of the talk.]

Comments

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

W-well, it's true!!

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

How so?

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

Well, whenever a man gets an overwhelmingly sinful urge, he rips off his clothes, captures an innocent girl, harasses her, then he sticks his wingle in her hoodiddle and it hurts and there's blood and then he rips her apart from the inside out and she dies.

That's what Mother told me.

1/2

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

[Excuse him for a moment, he's just gonna stare at his device for a few moments and stew over that statement.]

2/2

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

[Okay so maybe the sinful urges he had which have made him go out on a groping spree might have some credence to Rapunzel's beliefs, the rest is just gonna make him pinch the bridge of his nose.]

This is almost as bad as the folktale of vagina dentata.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

OH, god, what's that? It sounds painful.

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

...not going to tell you.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

Oh...I take it it's bad then.

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

No, the reason why I'm not telling you is because you seem like the person to take things a bit too literally.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

...is that bad?

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

In accordance with modern social conventions? Yes, yes it is.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

...oh.

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Try not to overreact and for your own good, try to find a older woman or somebody you trust to talk to about most of those random ideals you have about men.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

They're not completely random...this is what my mother told me...

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

And what she said is wrong, unless the man is cursed with absurd endowments.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

...Why wouldn't she tell me the truth...?

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Probably to scare you into never having sex until you were old enough to the handle the truth.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

...But I'm 19.

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Wow. Looks like you're way overdue then.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

What am I supposed to do?

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Go find somebody to tell you the truth.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

I'll look into it.

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Good, just make sure they'll also break you in easily. Lord knows you'll need a thorough yet light explanation.

[tangledintower.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to get that feeling, yeah...

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Best of luck to you.